TATA

It would have been a great pleasure if I had the chance to meet Nelson Mandela, the father of African democracy in my lifetime. Mandela is a hero, an icon, and a liberator whose memory will stay with the world forever. More and more children will be born and will be named Mandela, oblivious of the struggles the world leader walked through. His path was rough and rugged. A road we never want to travel again as global citizens.

Mandela’ long battle with death began in August 2013. He fought back. Perhaps it was due to the spotlight that surrounded him at that moment. Hungry journalists hovering around the corridors hoping to be the first to run the breaking headline “Mandiba Goodbye!”. The timing of his demise would never be right.

The world was united in grief and mourning an icon, a bacon of peace, a Nobel prize winner who taught many the art of forgiveness and the need of unity and good leadership.

Mandela carried the headlines. Media houses sang his praises. Broadcasted his documentaries and films, “A Hero’s long struggle from apartheid”  “The father of African democracy” Mandela this, Mandela that. All of it hypocritical just to sell their publications and get the hungry masses glued to their live broadcasts. Many wanted to be associated with him. Those who had had the chance to meet him changed their profile photos to the one next to him and bragged on their social media timelines. The rest like me “photo shopped” (is that the word?) just to appear relevant! Don’t get me wrong. It is a shitty world and relevance is all that matters. World leaders hitched air force one to the city under the sun to pay their last respect. A legacy and lifeline of their political career! Thousands of both local and international residents gathered in Pretoria to bid farewell to Tata Mandiba. Each one with their selfish personal reason attached. Hypocrisy  was the epicenter of it all!

I admired Mandela. He was many things. Not any feet can fit into his shoe. But Mandela was also human. He erred, not once. As a husband and a father his scorecard was pitiful.. “But I was in jail for 28 damn years!” I thank you, South Africa thanks you and the world fetes you.

But Tata mandiba, your first wife Eveline, left because you were never home Mr. Mandela, God rest her soul in peace. I can imagine the frustrations she went through. Cooking her best recipes that went untouched, buying that red silky sexy lingerie and no one was around to tell her how beautiful and damn sexy she looked in it. Artificial insomnia coupled up with anxiety and a need that kept her awake all night, I would not be surprised if she caught some form of LONELY WOMAN SYNDROME disease. Mr. Mandela was never home! South Africa needed to be liberated! After a whirlwind of disappointments she decided to throw in the towel. After 14 years of loneliness and trying to overlook Mandela’s flaws, she bailed.

Barely months out of his failed marriage, a marriage where he sired 3 children, Mandela married Winnie Medikizela in 1958. It was a church ceremony. Wedding bells ringing from each corner, pretty women all made up waiting to receive Mandela’s next bride. But wait a minute, did Mandela cheat on his wife before the divorce? Did Eveline leave because of Winnie?

Evaline had to get to work the next day after a night from hell. She probably had to wear oversized black dark glasses to conceal the swollen lines beneath her red eyes. Mandela damaged Eve and left her broken and empty. Many would say that polygamy was accepted then in South Africa. How fast he moved on is what shocks me.

Enter Nonzamo Winnie Madikizela. A woman of steel. I respect this woman with every fibre of my female being. She championed the struggle to free Mandela. She kept the liberation dream alive while fighting for her husband’s freedom.  Winnie never enjoyed time with Mandela. She was harassed, jailed because of Mandela. I still believe without Winnie Mandela South Africans would have forgotten Mandela and he would have never left that island. Fast Rewind………. Before she met Rolihiahia Mandela, Winnie’s life was perfect. She went to a good school, got a perfect grades and a dream job to cream up her crème life. She dreamt of falling in love with the perfect man and having perfect children.

Mandela sold his dreams to Winnie maybe on a dinner date. Winnie bought it. She was fascinated by his beliefs and swore to stand by him. Bore him children and became his wife. She waited for Mandela for 28 years, fought for his freedom and keeping his memory alive. She was there when he was released from jail. She helped him walk to freedom. But as soon as he was installed as the president of the federal republic of South Africa? He dumped Winnie soon enough denying Winnie the dream where everything ended with perfect, FIRST LADY. This is inhuman.

He should have been a little considerate and write her a note stating that he intends to dump her as soon as he occupied the house on the hill. The lawn is always greener here.  This is the dream that made Medikizela fight for years. They say hope is feathered and she flew, she dreamt of furnishing the house on the hill with her favorite colors maybe orange and brown, blue and pink, *Shrug*, who knows, buy kitchenware of her choice, She dreamt of buying linen from Egypt, host dinner for visiting first families from across the world. She wanted to be the envy of every South African female. She had it all written down in their perfect wonderful script. It was designed in her mind until Mandela crushed it! He killed her dream. Mandela never fought for Winnie. He never defended her DREAM. He walked away!

It’s like a reading an amazing novel that keeps you enchanted until the prince falls in love with the frog. What I realized is in the real world, the princess never gets the prince.  I believe a dream assassin is equivalent to an assassin. How can the world be blind this kind of atrocity that Mandela committed to the female kind?

Mandela left Winnie for Graca.

A woman blessed enough to be married to two sitting presidents from different countries. Just when did Graca realize she was in love with Mandela? Maybe if Mandela were not a global sensation, she would have never set her eyes on him. Was this luck or a clear calculation? Graca finally became Mandela’s third wife. She irked Winnie in every wrong way. Winnie resented her. She had stolen her dream and made it her reality. She stole her man too. She chilled Winnie to the core that she even nick named her “STATE CONCUBINE”. What was Graca’s role in Mandela’s life? What did she seek to achieve? She has decorated state house many a times before. She has bore presidential children.  She has hosted state parties. Was this not enough? Did she have to live Winnie’s dream again?

Mandela, fare thee well, a man who wrongly stirred the female world

WHEN THE DEAL IS TOO GOOD,THINK TWICE!

The devil appears in many ways. The ghosts of 2013 haunts me. It lingers on me like the pungent of death. My fate hangs on the balance, my life alongside it.

I am a lone ranger in my journey in life. I have made some good decisions and bad ones on equal measure with one quest in mind, to propel my ego. The deal was good. I took it. Selling every bit of me. Now the devil is after me. He says he is going to get me and I am ready for him. I am many things but a fool is not one of them. "I need redemption" I scream "My daughter, if you want redemption go to church" His crooked laugh screams back to my ears. I put both my hands on my ears and I begin to run. Running to nowhere. I try to shake myself out of this reverie. It is not a dream. It is reality. I wake up and seat on the edge of my bed sweating profusely. See I know the rules of the game. Or I thought I knew the rules. The devil is cunning. He approaches when you are thirsty. Offers you a cold drink in the middle of the desert. Your soul is weak Your mind is troubled. You reach for the drink because of the desire to quench your thirst. This drink never quenches. Instead it feeds on your thirst and makes you want more. This is one of the ways we fall.

I have learnt a moral lesson from the devil. When he wants to dance with, you better say never never because a dance with him may last you forever! Vital.

I am ready for 2014 and its share of baggage, disappointments, tears, joy, successes, et all. I will face my ghosts head on and exorcise each of them. The ghosts of the past year will define this year and make it better. Though still young, it is fruitful and promising. I AM READY FOR YOU!!

The African Story Challenge Finalist: ME

The dazzling light dimly lit across the room. I could not believe I was here. I could count my heart beats as one of the mentors of the story challenge camp cut across the room towards me with my certificate in hand. This was a first for me and a sign of great things to come. I closed my eyes tightly.

Fast rewind.
As a reformed internet junkie, I am surfing the net when I come across an advert calling for great interesting stories of agriculture from Africa. Momentarily I am carried away by the idea but quickly dismiss it all together on baseless grounds. I whisper my idea to my daughter. She likes it. I am not sure.
"They will not even read it" I tell her.
"Come on mum! You got to try and when it does not work out, at least you did"

Wait a minute. Is this kid only fourteen? Sometimes its hard to believe it. Most of the time she is my voice of reason. And so reluctantly I applied for the Agriculture cycle of the Agriculture story challenge.

One week, two, three, no feedback and so I forgot about it. Just like many more applications. Many believe August in Kenya is jinxed, I started to wonder if the jinx season turned to July. I find an email from African story challenge. "What is this?" I wonder.
So I click the email.

Dear Mildred,
Congratulations..........

I was elated beyond words. Nothing could define the feeling. I began sweating and freezing at the same time.

Being one of the story challenge finalist, was a first big step in my journalism career. A big step for Kibera and the youth of Kibera " Ghetto Wasanii" where I train journalism.

Many days to follow, sleep evaded my stingy eyes. Story camp was all I had in mind. Sometimes I would imagine I was in a deep slumber and when I wake up it would all be over. I woke up and it was still here. Here with me. I waited and waited. I was the first to reach Emarald Hotel :). Eagerness mixed with anxiousness toped up with anticipation. Being there first would give me time to read and gauge every person that walked through the lobby. Me being me. Being a not so vocal person, I love reading character and personality. And so I positioned myself to watch, observe and read as each competition swayed in the lobby. I noted interesting observations :).

I watched each and every finalist as they trooped into the hotel lobby. Each one had a unique style that defined them. The excitement and anxiety smelled like fresh blood. Armed with their back packs and pulling their suitcases everyone was in a hurry to leave. Their confidence spoke volumes.

Soon we were en route to Enashipai resort and Spa. I Push the key into the door and it flows open. I am greeted by a magnificent room. My jaw drops.

"Wooh! Breathe taking"

It had a combination of my colors. I felt invited. Went in unpacked and rushed to the conference room where we were to submit our presentations. This is funny because I had it figured out in my head well. As I lay in my bed late into the night all I would think about was my submissions and how I would present it. I was good or so I thought until "Ze phobia" took over and my words and thoughts were washed away to the sea of forgotten. There I am speechless staring far into the distance *laughing so hard*.
My goof. I remembered to name it.

The workshops began. We had all these professional experts from all fields of media take us through the crush course. It was intense and delved deep. The truth of the matter is that I loved the story clinic more than anything. I grasped a whole lot more which I plan to disseminate. Presentations from mentors  inspired me to a new level. I dared to dream.

I met lovely people and made wonderful friends. Had interesting conversations. The finalists were brilliant with promising futures. It was interesting to note that out of the 20 finalists, the females were only five. Yes Five.  Five strong women with different diversities from the same continent enchanted by a common goal: A better Africa.

Boot camp to me was an experience. One I will never forget. I thank the administrators and the panel of judges for having given me this once in a life time chance. Thank you.

Memorable times

Last hour rush. Kenya, Zambia, Liberia, Ghana, Zimbabwe.

Lake Naivasha reporting cruise. Think, Discuss, Create was more like it. The best news is that this day I overcame my phobia for water.

In remembrance, Memories are made of this. It was time to say goodbye after 5 days of intense training.

Wishing all the finalists the best in their story development. It was a pleasure meeting great and wonderful people like you.
Thank you African Challenge Story.
MiMi

Relationships Door Mats

Taking time off my busy schedule just to feel my blog once again!!

I miss you blog, In between the loads of work and the writing I missed sharing my thoughts with you and just let you know that you are still my best friend. Even Facebook could never replace you my bossom friend.

Adele inspires me to write. Rolling in the deep! This chic has an amazing story. Inspires me to the bone. people may look down upon you but the can not extract the gold that is buried deep within you. Back to Adele as her music glares full blast on my headphones. Can help nodding my head and singing on top of my bad voice. I swear I have a bad voice, A machine to piss my nosy neighbor off.

I hate relationship doormats!! those women who suck to a man who barely notices them beyond the bed or the bank. These women suck up to every word that the men unleash and have made it a mission to please them.

"I am loosing weight because Thomas said........" Relationship doormat!
"I put this hairstyle because Thomas thinks........." Relationship doormat!
"I will have to meet up with my girls later because........." Relationship doormat!!

Some of my friends think that am a cold bitch but I think am a just  realist, Why cant I make my hair for me and feel pretty, Must he complement me for me to know I look good? Cant I just loose weight because I need to fit in that black velvety dress because I have a date with my girlfriend, Cant I just cancel on him because he asked me for dinner late  and I had already scheduled with my friend?  Why cant I say no to him??  Because you are a relationship door mat.

Some women make  me wonder. He will never cancel a football match to be with her nor an XBox game with the boys. He never even mentions you to his friend while you cant even have an earnest conversation with your girlfriends without the "Me and My guy shit"
Its about time you quit being relationship doormats.

• Be your own person, people have real high opinion for such people. 
• Never cancel a date with your girlfriends for a dude, remember men are seasonal, girlfriend are forever.
• Know when to out and let go.
• Dont hang on to a relationship that is long dead. 

The Bitter Option?? Sufferingcom

 It doesn't cost anything to keep a customer happy. A happy customer brings in good returns but that is just the opposite with Safaricom Kenya Ltd. I have tried to be patient hoping but this situation is spiraling out of control. Maybe most of you don't have a problem or are least bit concerned but I am. Communication is key to the growth of any institution and when Safaricom are denying their customers just that????? what is there to be said? Safaricom being with the largest number of mobile subscribers and one of the most successful companies getting billions in profit, I don't understand how such a company can keep a customer on hold for three hours claiming all their agentts are currently busy. That is the least bit of our concerns. I want to speak to a customer care I get one. If they are not enough then hire more. Maybe most of you are not bothered by this, but I am. I speak for that woman and amn in the village who has no other form of media to get help from the customer care desk when they rightly need it. I think we deserve to be treated with a little more respect from the customer care agents who put clients on hold.

I have never been patient enough to hold on when the automative voice suggests that because I am that impatient but today I decided that I would hold no matter what. So I held the call. i put it on loud speaker and began to play a blocked on my cell. After some time I realize I have been holding for a while now. I ignore that fact and keep holding. I dial 234 and I am told the same thing. "All the customer care agents are currently busy" I keep swapping the calls to see which one would be picked but none is. I am bothered by Safaricom's lack of courtesy. I was put on hold for three hours and it would have been more if I had not decided to end the call and write this blog. I think this is unethical and uncalled of. Switch subscribers if you are disgruntled *Bobby Collimore* is probably thinking. But the question is what if we all migrate? I am not the only disgruntled customer in this side of the sahara. Thre are so many of them out there without a platform to vent their anger and frustrations for the uncaring customer care agents of Sufferingcom. We undergo such sufferings while they are busy in some of their best social media sites chatting empty nothings with the people they have just met on the social media and no nothing about at the expense of a vital and critical customer who pays their salary.  Here some of the rules when it comes customer care service that sufferingcom hasn't taught its agents :-

• Sha

1. Accessibility

Your organization should be easy to approach. This goes from excellent customer service by phone to providing enough parking spots and flexible opening hours.

2. Reliability

Reliability means that the customer can count on the product or service and the effectiveness of your actions. The product or service should be perfect from the first time and promises must be kept.

3. Proactivity

The customer expects the salesperson to take the initiative and react as quickly as possible. Time counts!

4. Courtesy

Politeness and courtesy have everything to do with respect for the customer, good manners and consideration.

5. Competence

A.k.a. the required skills and knowledge. This counts for every person involved in the project (salesperson, project manager, administrative staff,…).

6. Communication

Smooth communication means that you should not only listen to the customer, but also speak their language. Different customers have different backgrounds, different styles. Some situations will be more formal than others, it’s important to be able to distinguish between both.

7. Credibility

A good reputation, positive image and personal approach will give the customer the feeling that you always have their best interest at heart.

8. Presentation

Looks count, this is no different for business. Make sure you are well-groomed and pay attention to image and design, whether it’s in your advertising or letterheads.

9. Security

The customer has nothing to fear. You handle money and data with care.

10. Understanding

Your organization should take the effort to truly understand your customer’s situation and needs. This asks for empathy. No standard products or services, but personalized solutions.

Empty threats!! Some of them may say but we are the power and we are the people.  MOBILIZATION!

Friends Till The End, Even in Death.

I am sitting at the balcony of my room staring deep out of the window. The day is rather calm and peaceful, the atmosphere serene and the sun lay loosely on the clouds. I glance once again at the news paper lying on my bed. I cant help the tear that trickled down my cheeks.It is barely less than two Km from where dark June 10. 2012 took place. I realize its been a sad week for Kenya. My mind wanders momentarily from Saitoti to Ojode. Wonderful Kenyan Citizens that we have been robbed of at the prime of their careers. My mind is full of questions even as I bid them farewell. there is so much unsaid in my heart! So many questions! so many what If's! My my condolences rest with the families. Rest in Peace Hon. George Saitoti. Rest In Peace Hon. Orwa Ojode. Even when the media forgets you after this week, in the hearts of those you touched you shall live forever. you made a difference in the lives of thousands. You changed the story of many and you are admired by most. Even when your constituents elect new leaders, in some way they will never fit your shoes! The people of Ndhiwa and Kajiado North have lost great men and I join them in mourning as they are being laid to rest this weekend. I admired your blissful relationship Hon Saitoti and Hon Ojode. I wish all this Ministers and Mp's learn something from you.There was no tribal factor and party politics and party affiliations between you and this is what leadership constitutes.

Fare thee well till we meet again. As I grew up I realized that one common denominator that we have is death. its inevitable and only God gets to determine. You can control birth but not death. rest in Peace.

Myldongo Press: JUST GOT MY MOJO BACK

JUST GOT MY MOJO BACK

 A wonderful day for me indeed! But who the hell gets late for their graduation ceremony???? I did. and its a long story so let me leave the sleeping dog to rest.

I reach Kamkunji grounds in Kibera way after the graduation ceremony had began. I swear bad traffic was to blame for most of it. Thika road was unbearable as we tried to maneuver the busy Pangani once roundabout. I don't know what to call it now because its neither a roundabout or any other thing that can be defined. It is a Saturday I wondered where all this people were headed to. someone would have thought that the president was coming this way but he rarely does! Has he ever seen the super highway??I ponder and ask myself. I wonder in which year this is going to end. Ipride myself to being one of the luckiest pioneers of this mighty wonder to ever be seen in the history of Kenya: THE SUPER HIGHWAY!  We reach the city center and we are forced to use Langata Road to get to Kibera. What is happening today? There seems to be traffic everywhere!Hell Yah! Its a festive month and also a pay weekend. Those who had parked their cars in the parking lot had it all out including our :) Wer had like a day or two to floss with it before the high petrol prices caught up with our reality.
I am happy to see my classmates again. I had not seen them in ages. They haven't changed much,I note. The school too. Today i was getting awarded for that very dream I had when I was a kid! It was reality transforming itself right in front of my face...... Time flies! It seems like just yesterday when I joined the film school. But here I am done. This is just the beginning of a million steps. It all starts with that one crucial step and I made past it.
This blog particularly I write to thank a few people who have made it possible for me to achieve this day.

First and foremost I want to thank my God, my heavenly father for giving me life,health and opportunity that made it possible for me to see this day. Without you I would never make it, Without you I am alone thank you for being by my side even in this crucial day.

Second I want to thank my dad, James Odongo, My earthly father, Papa thanks for your humility that can be compared to none other than God himself. I have made wrong choices in my life but your humility and love for me has always enabled you to pick me up,dust me and put me on the road again. I love you papa. I don't know who or where I would be without you. I owe you one :)

Thirdly, Nathan Collett. Thank you for giving me that chance and opportunity. You belived in me a total stranger and gave me that golden opportunity and a second chance in life. Before you everything had just been a fantasy but you turned it to reality. Forever I will be grateful to you. Thanks for handing me something very precious, REALITY T)O ACCOMPLISH.

Fourth but that doesn't mean you are only lesser ;) My Friend Kevin Machimbo. All the skills you taught me. For all the sleepless nights you sacrificed and taught me how to edit. Do you recall the day you taught me how to achieve the Luma effect in final cut and I just couldn't get it and you refused me to even wink until I get it right? You evil Friend :) Do you remember all the assumptions people made? All that time they talked you polished my skill. Taught me how to use every equipment and every application. I appreciate every moment of it all. You are just awesome,Simply the best among them all :) Don't be flattered!

Finally my classmates especially my desk mates Naftali Wmbugu and Berry Muga. Remember when we first met total stranger sitting next to each other? But now we leave best of friends. At no point did we ever have any conflicts, yet we worked together most of the time. We always found a common ground and a working formula. You guys rock! Hope we work on more projects together again.

Finally but not least, Hotsun foundation and Kibera Film School.Thanks for being my home for all that while. I lived here! Dwelling here! Thanks. Josephat Keya you are appreciated. even after the crossroads,I always find it in my heart to honour those who touched my life. You have done a lot for me and you Know it. Thanks! EVEN AFTER THE STORM I WILL ALWAYS LOOK BACK!  The great Lectures, thanks for your time and humility and the input that you shared with us. You gave s so much for so little. Our best oes out to you. Pamela, Mercy thanks for everything. As the trustees,you made sure we got. Mercy, it has been great. You the coolest. You understand :) Any other friends I have not mentioned, I love you and it was great meeting you. Life is made out of relationships and I hope we shall be meeting again in this small industry. It was a great experience! All my foes and adversaries, Thanks for making me better and stronger!!

And I finally got that long awaited Certificate. My speech sucked. I am not so good in impomptu speeches. I never honored some people I walked this terrain with but here we are today. Thanks for making that difference. KIBERA FILM SCHOOL rocks!! This is where you go and come back together with life skills attached to your certificate. If the clock was to turn back I wouldn't want to be anywhere else other than here. I love you Hotsun Foundation and everywhere I go In my heart is where I hold you. No matter What!!

What Somali Needs?

I have just read an article where the UN is calling for more funding for the Horn of Africa. I don't object that it is a good cause by good people but that is not what Somali NEEDS. Every other factor Somali is facing against the backbone of starvation was created by the conflict that has been going on for as long as I remember, before I even learned that if you put 1+1 you get 2.

For close to 20 years the world has stood and watched Somali turn into a FAILED STATE run by Islamic insurgents who taint the Islam Religion. I think we should go back to the drawing board and structure yet again what Somali needs.If the increasingly violent,chaotic situation does not end,then I am sorry that we shall continue asking for more donors to come on board. But for how long are we going to watch this humanitarian situation evolving? For how long will Somali continue being a state of anarchy?
It is not more funding that will end the humanitarian situation in Somali but Peace. Peace comes with a cost. The dire situation in Somali should not continue to be ignored any longer. The world should come together as a global village to combat and tame the crisis in Somali. What Somali needs is a total diversion from Aid and funding but instead help them from their pitiful situation. Their population is already exhausted and what it really needs at this point is guaranteed security.
What Somali needs is rapid deployment of peacekeepers to combat the growing efforts of the Al shabab especially now that the holy month of Ramadhan is about to begin.

Let us not fool ourselves that AID alone is enough, it will not help solve the humanitarian crisis. For as long as there is still no peace in Somali,the crisis will continue to evolve,the people will continue to die from the unplanned attacks from the insurgents or from the outcome created by the crisis.

What shall we do for Somali? What can you do? That is what all the international community should be concerned with now. Today I rest my main question:

IS SOMALI A FAILED STATE?

What's The Point?

Its okay to feel angry,
Its okay to feel pain,
It's even okay to hate the person that did that to you,
But when that anger and pain become too much for you,
Come see me,
For I am your family and we gonna work through this together,
The sea of life,
That is how I would call it,
Life is too short to wrestle with bitterness,
And that is why I am writing what the point is,
For myself,for you, for us,
Thats what writers do,
They put pen into paper in times of devastating tragedy,
Just trying to make sense out of all these,
Maybe we will find clarity in some of these words!

Volcanoe

I can cause multiple destructions in my anger,

I am cool until something sparks me

just then I erupt,

Just like a volcano.

I am humble until I am stirred,

I can be very arrogant,

and can break numerous spirits,

Just like the volcano,

I can be cool till I erupt.

Like a volcano appears beautiful,

so does my face before I switch,

My guarded heart with thorns ready to prick

Like a volcano before I erupt I am a wonderful site,

But when my lava shoots,

You can not stand me.

Yes this is me!

Experience me.

Shedding a tear for the dearly departed

The hard reality sunk in! 

In the midst of death there is life,

And i understood the meaning of it,

You cant go through life without caring who you hurt,

But the most painful thing that could ever happen,

Is to realize that you are both better off without each other.

I knew our friendship would never sever,

But I was wrong because that was just a line,

Sometimes I wonder how it got to the mistrust?

And the bad mouthing behind each others backs?

So many questions linger on my mind,

But most of them pass unanswered.

I never wanted you out of my life,

I never wanted it to end this way

But it did!

Brother and sister of nature,

sometimes the most important thing to know, 

Is when to get out and when to give in,

You could see the pain in my eyes when every other person believed the smile,

But maybe we were just simple friends,

That is why with one simple argument,the friendship is over,

That is why the sea of mistrust engulfs you,

moving on os simple but what you leave behind is all that makes it hard.

In the morning when you wake up and the day fades,

your make up rans off and eyes swollen from crying all night,

You taught me just to hold on,

A vital lesson I am taking with me to Neverland,

I dont want to wake up,

I dont want reality intruding my dream,

Life was Long you made it short,

But I realised just like seasons people have the ability to change.

From where I stand this is you,

The only person who was friends with me for me,

We hurt each other the most,

But since its not like I have many friends myself,

I can use every lying backstabbing one I got,

For great friends are hard to find,difficult to leave and hard to forget,

Friend are not who we have known the longest,

Its who came and never left your side,

This chapter has an ending 

I think our story was SHORT.

No explanations necessary,

I THINK I GOT IT!

Cheers!

I thought I would feel the gap,
I thought I would feel the emptiness.
But so far I am glad and I feel the relief,
I thought I would weep, shed maybe a tear or two,
I thought I would be weak, But so far I am strong,
I am so glad you went away,
and today I pop my champagne,
This is to the fallen friendship,
CHEERS!
I celebrate this day because I never knew you would be ........
I fail to get the words to express it
But this is to the fallen friendship
A friendship so strong I thought could endure any amount of storm,
But guess what? I was wrong.................
But I am glad its gone. Gone wind the wind.
And so I pop that bottle of champagne and scream
BREATH AT LAST!

Raychelle

I'm so grateful that I have you as a daughter,

No matter how many birthdays come and go, you'll always be my little girl,

You grow sweeter with each passing year,

I'm so glad that God gave me a daughter like you,

Happy Birthday to our pride and joy,

To a wonderful daughter and a great friend,

You are my one true treasure,

And I want to tell you that you are highly appreciated.

It does not matter whether I am there for your Birthday or not,

But it matters that I will always be there,

That shadow Behind your wall,

That Silent whisper when the wind whistles,

That Ray of sun while it rises,

The brightest star in the sky,

The rain that cools the earth,

When you see all these things, Remember I am watching,

I am always there too!

Love Mama

Time Bears it All!

I wonder where you are.
and if the pain ends when you die.
I wonder if there was
some better way to say good bye

I've got good news and bad news.
The bad news is that I died. The good news
is that it was only on the inside

Don't threaten me with what you think I feel
If you could read my mind,
you'd be in tears

Friends aren't forever.
And even families sometimes fall apart.
The only person who is guaranteed to be by your side through thick&think
from your first breath to your last sputter is you.

ever had one of those days when you hate
the world and just dropping your pen
makes you want to break down and cry?

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.
Without them, what would shape our lives?
Perhaps if we never veered off course,
we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are.
After all, seasons change, so do cities.
People come into your life and people go.
But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.
And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away 

I like talking to strangers, it stops me from feeling so alone in
the world, like someone out there might understand me.

and not just judge me but share with me  

Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody,You don’t want to smile,and you don’t wanna fake being happy,
but at the same time...
you don’t know exactly what is wrong either?

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared. Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six
billion people in the world six billion souls. And sometimes all you need is one,

one soul that will understand you no matter what.

Not even your parents know you well enough
to know how well you hide. They won't see
the pain you're in. You hide it so well behind
your pretty face. No one can ever tell how
much your feeling out of place.

Don't tell me you know how it feels.
Don't tell me you understand.
Don't tell me what you're going through is the same as this. Just don't.  

Don't attempt to make this better!

  

LIES

Why must everyone, Get the wrong idea. When two people are friends, That is all they feel. One moment others like the thought, The next they are against it. So then they begin to, Make up lies with what they want. A lot of shit can come from a tale, Just try it for yourself. If you make up a lie, And tell it to one soul. The next time you hear it, It's strtched a mile wide. Nothing makes me any madder, Than listening to these lies. That's why I just sit back, And let them slip on by...

HYPOCRITES

These people don't care about me, fake smiles
They just watch with their accusing eyes...
Waiting for me to mess up, join their files
All they want to know about me is lies.

Deceived beings of hopelessness with no where to go
Wanting to feel better about themselves by hurting me
So they can talk about me behind my back like a private show
Pretentious souls, they only see what they want to see!

They only believe what they want to believe
Eaten up by their inner deceptions; they pretend
All of them so blind and blatantly deceived...
This shallowness is their means and their end!

In the end it doesn't matter because it's not truth
They think they can hurt me with their talk, impure
But I feel sorry for them, they waste their youth!I only feel bad for them because I know they got it bad!

ITS MY LIFE!!!

It does not really matter what they say about me,

Because they are all rumors and lies,

Their words scream to me a lullaby and wash me pain,

But in the end its still my life and i will do as i please with it,

Always keeping the positive on my mind,

I dont care what and how they have to say it,

Because they can not change me,

They gossip and whisper,

The same pattern each day,

And that leaves me wondering: Isn't there anything valuable to do with their TIME?

Many names fly around these halls and they all evolve around me,

I become more observant of my surrounding,

Its raising and falling,

My friends fading and leaving me to my fate

My LIFE,

You think that i don't care,

You think that i don't see,

Bit I am moe aware of what is said about me,

Behind my back passing glances ,

Shifty eyes as I walk by............,

Contorted faces by mute advances,

My ear drums cant help but spy!

Their careless whispers travel fast,

Never thinking about the hurt ,the pain?

Though I realize this shall pass,

And the phase of rumors was for you gain.

So caught up with your insecurities,

And your selfish desire to be on the lime light,

The difference is that i have the best interests at heart,

While you are driven by selfish desires and gains.

Despite all you have done, I will raise still for,

This is my life!

Gossip

 I have no respect for justice.

I maim without killing.

I break hearts,ruin lives and destroy friendships,

I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.

My victims are helpless and can not protect themselves because i have no name and face.

To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

 Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.

 I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

Even my name hisses.

I make headlines and headaches even in the corridors.

Before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
    Is it true?
    Is it harmless?
    Is it necessary?
    If it isn’t, don’t repeat it.
 

My Condolences.

I know from experience how difficult dealing with loss can be, but I also know how empowering and special it feels to receive the perfect support from people in our lives. Words not only hug your heart in a time of loss, they are also powerful and healing.

I never got to meet your mum but I heard of the good things she had to give up so that people like me can be somewhere once upon a lifetime.

My commitment to you and to my mom is to share ways to put a smile on a person's face and touch their soul during a very painful time of illness and loss. I have been there, done this.  My mother was also my best friend. She was there for me in every aspect of the world. She was loving, sarcastic, a beautiful woman and loved to clean and cook. I miss her daily and am learning how to deal in this world without her. But I am also grateful that I had her in my life for so long and am doing my best to live by her motto. "Learn something new every day, learn forgiveness, and be kind" It's a lot easier when you lean into the pain of loss and lean into all the love that surrounds you.

 Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.