Thursday, November 4, 2010

Embarrasing? You tell me.

Someone asked me once what the most embarrasing moment of my life was and i flushed wit embarrasment till my cheeks turned pink. I was on a blind date wit a certain Mr X,name witheld, "sorry if u are reading this bt am cleaning out my closet." Since we had spoken on the fone a few times,i had never seen the dude bt findin him wuldnt be a task coz we had each others number,thank God for technology. I woke up feeling upbeat that morning. Finally i was going to put a face to a name. I chose my knee length purple bare back dress and a black waist belt,and black knee high boots and a black clutch bag. Oh! Boy wasnt i smoking hot! I wore my favourite designer perfume and made sure i flossed my teeth. "where are you going?" my young sister asked me."can i come?" I shook my head in total finality. "Where iam going,kids, are nt allowed."she sulked and walked away. I slipped out the back to avoid any confrotation wit my over protective dad. My phone rang and it was Mr X calling to confirm if the meeting was stil on. Oh men! I loved this mans voice. It was deep and husky,one that drove any woman in any legnth."how can i nt come? I will be there"i said confirming the location once more. And so i ran,making sure i ws still looking hot. No offence,i always look hot bt today,woh! I ws smoking hot. Every where i passed eyes turned and i loved every moment of it. So i reach that spot where we were to meet bt i find two women and a man. So i stood by the bus stop pole and waited. "Damn him,no man ever keeps me waiting. Wasnt he anxious to meet me? Damn" This man kept staring at me and smilling,as if waiting for an invitation. He was in his mid thirties and rugged. I ws pissed and even sneered at me. I began to panic,i ws thinking he ws my date. I began to hide my face when he walked up and asked me why i ws fidgetting. "Are u waiting for someone?" And i started to .......

Its me again God

I tiptoe lightly wit the toes of my feet and i forgot that you already saw me come. What a shame. Lord i seek you once more,show me your grace and mercy. I have realised that i only run to you when i am in trouble,bt wait God, i am always in trouble for my life itself is troubled. Then this only means i talk to you each day trying to seek answers of what is happening around me. More and more times i have accused you as being unfair to me and not answering my prayers when i need you to,but Jehovah i realised one thing,that you always have my back. Forgive me and have mercy on me. My feet are nt too strong,but i think they may endure the journey to the mercy seat. God protect my daddy in this period of trial. Let the devil of sickness be banished away from him. Remember Lord he is all that we have. Our father,our mother. Our teacher,our mentor. Our guide,the driving force behind all our success. Protect him God and give him health. Let him live to see even his great grand children for he is a great man. I know that you planed every ones day upfront but you again are the only one who can increase the days. Lord,this is my unedited,unrated prayer. Its only meant for your sight and your wisdom. Be merciful to me Lord. AMEN!!

We all learn from mistakes,pick your selves up and dust your selves and braze for what the world has to offer.

You wanna knw when all this stops? It stops right now.Am done trying,done trying to hold all of us together. Maybe its time we al tried to find our different ways. Time has run by that i didnt realise that we have all become adults and each one of us is responsible for their action. Al i have to do from now onwards is watch from a distance. We al learn when we fall and maybe protecting al of you from falling has been my worst sin. The world teacheth fools and i was taught by the world and so will al of you. I write this note wit alot of pain and sadness. Seeing all that you have worked against al the years coming into being and there is nothing you can do to prevent the outcome. A good life prevents one to see what the world has to offer and i cn bet that the world,on your own? Life can be nothing bt harsh. We al learn from our mistakes and hope that you guys will someday. When the heartache is over,i knw i shall be missing you again bt for now,try and find your own way home!

Strictly for you Mama. No one else should read

Lately,av bn doing alot of writing bt i realised that av written notes almost about evry1 and evrything minus the one thing that mattered and still matter in my life,you MAMA. I remember you like it was yestarday, like a blink of an eye,i think about you every single day of my life esp wen am going thru stuff that i knw u wud be around to make ok. Sometimes cnt help bt wonder are you happy where you are?? I really miss u mama. I wish that you would still be here wit us bt one thing is for sure, u cnt come to us bt we shall come to u. Its inevitable. I wish u were here to see how much the kids have grown into responsible young adults. Am so proud of them mama and i knw you would too. Life is strange huh? To think that i never wrote you any mail in life telling you how much i cared (except 4 the damn letters demanding for grabo during visiting day). I was a kid by the time you left us,maybe a girl,bt now am a woman. Though wheather beaten bt a strong woman. I would nt b so sure u r reading this nw bt deep dwn i knw u r. Just wanted to let you knw that i miss u and am sorry for all the naughty things i did that got me in trouble wit you. I never quite got to that part where i say sorry bt hope it makes a difference. Until we meet again memories is what i hold,and close to my heart is where you live forever mama.RIP :-(